Hey yall. Writin this blog sad as hell, lol. Lately I've been a whirlwind of emotions. I should be happy because I finally got my permit! In a month I'll be able to drive around with my best friend. Oh of course Happy New Year! I stayed up late at my besties house of course. Anyways. Baxk to being sad. How are you all? Feeling like a loser lately, despite many telling me the opposite. I've been thinking lately how much family I'll lose when I transition. I even came out to my dad and step mom, and the burnt the note, saying it was "The Devil" trying to get in. So thats alreadt telling of some people I'll lose. Which hurts because I still really do love my dad. Sometimes I think about not transitioning to save rlationships, but it isnt worth the mental health toll it'll take on me. TW for the next sentence................Because I still get suicidal now pretransition. And having to live with that forever is not a good end. Anyways, thats all I have to say. I know this was a jumble of sentences, but I thought why not vent to strangers yeah? Hahah anyways, love you guys, if anyone reads these.