Well, shit has been hitting the fan as of late. I had made another friend as of last blog, and we were talking with the intentions of maybe having a relationship, but I recently haven't reciprocated those feelings back to them. I told them last night, and well, cried over it. They didn't have a happy response, which I expected. I wake up this morning to see they have made an Instagram post, saying they hate, and I quote "Liars, and People who waste my time and money." Which to me is, just, wow. It pisses me off they think I was using them when I was nothing but a genuinely friend. I never lied, I never wanted anything but to hang out and have a good time. It's just so unfair how people turn on you the moment you tell the truth, yet wouldn't they want the truth? It's so discouraging when most people I try to befriend end up like this. Sometimes I do fear I'm better off alone without friends, to spare myself the hurt. Sigh.

Anyways, be and my used to be best friend are talking once again. I'm keeping her at a distance for now, but there is still that part of me that wants to rush back into being best friends again. But I know I'd just get hurt again if I did that. She did say something concerning when I called her yesterday. I told her my parents aren;t too fond of her after what she did, and she goes, "Well I didn't do anything so..." Which was an immediate punch to the heart. She believes what she did was justifed. Not talking to me, almost blaming me for the homophobic comment my PARENTS made. All I can really do is shake my head of the thoughts and move on.

I almost went back to the mental hospital recently, but my parents have once again denied my safety. Which is alright I guess because I'm doing better now, but I'm still having some issues with medication and having bad thoughts. Which on that note, I'm starting virtual intensive outpatient program, along with Dialectal Behavior Therapy, which for those of you who don't know what that is, its a type of therapy that teaches you coping skills like how to deal with your bad thoughts, how to be kind to yourself and others, and similar things to that. I'm honetsly excited because I get to be in a group of 15-17 year olds who all identify with the LGBTQ+ in some way! Very encouraging.

Well, this has been a long blog. Just needed to get some feelings out to the world, shouting into the void, yknow? Cya lovlies!